Thirty Minutes

September 8, 2011

Last week, I had one of those days. You know the kind? Where everything in your world has their Annoying dial cranked to 11 and the roof is looking enticing?

The dogs are not dealing all that well with our across-the-street-transition. They still bark furiously whenever the new neighbors enter or exit from our old ouse. They wouldn’t go outside when the neighbor girl came over to let them out last week. In general, they seem to be feeling rather insecure with their place in the universe. Charlie, our big dog, has always been a little on the needy side. But lately, both dogs have been literally (and I’m using this word correctly here) tripping over themselves in order to apply their bodies to my legs. There has also been much licking and over-excitedness in general.

Add to that, a toddler who is unhappy with the butler and nanny, a Handsome who is tired and stressed out (read: cray-hanky), and a MerryMe who is not coping all that well.

One of those days when Mama just needs 30 minutes of shut the hell up and leave me alone, and she’ll be good as new.

These 30 minutes go something like this:

0:00 Put peach down for a nap, and sit down.

0:01  Handsome: “Charlie, get off me! Babe, can you do something with these dogs?” Let dogs out. Sit down.

0:03 Dogs barking madly at a leaf on the wrong side of the fence. Get up. Get dogs inside.  Sit down. Dogs are exuberant because we didn’t move away while they were outside, and gallop down the hallway.

0:04 Peach: “Meeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!”

0:10 Peach is comforted, back down for a nap. Sit down.

0:11 Doorbell rings. Dogs go street rat crazy. Peach: “Maaaaaiiiiiiiiiimamamamamama!” Answer door, and politely dismiss security systems solicitor, while cursing him silently inside my head. Threaten dogs with steely glare of doom (the one that can melt glass). Admonish for waking the baby.

0:17 Peach is comforted, back down for a nap. Sit down.

0:18 Handsome: “Hey, where are the netflix envelopes?”

0:19 Get up, find envelopes. Sit down.

0:22 Think to self: Excellent. I think Peach is finally asle–“mwaahhhhhhaaaaaaeeeeeeeee!”

0:29 Peach is comforted, back down for a nap. Sit down. Pet needy dog. Realize dogs have fleas.

0:30 “Meeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!”

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One Response to “Thirty Minutes”

  1. Ahhhhh! I feel your pain.
    But what’s a Co-D for, if not for 30 minutes of cover?

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