Potty wanna cracker?

August 17, 2011

Lately, Peach, my 15 month old prodigy, has been pointing to her diaper just before soiling it. I gave some thought to potty-training (or potty-learning, if you prefer), but decided that until she can understand the phrase “you need to wait 5 five minutes” there was really no point. Let me paint you a picture:

Peach: Mmm! Mmhhnn! [points emphatically to crotchal region while mid-errand]

MerryMommy: Okay, sugar, we are about 450 aisles away from the potty. Hang on!! [I ditch the cart, channel Evil Kenevil and discover that I can parkuor our butts across Target. But there are massive casualties: Granny Parker’s “good” hip, one slightly squished stoner kid, my right ankle, my forehead, my gallbladder, the entire laundry aisle, and Peach’s pants, which now that I’ve stopped ricochetting off displays, I realize were wet before I even had my Evil Kenevil face in place.]

Peach: Mmm! Mmhhnn! [points emphatically to an animal cracker]

MISSION FAILURE

But… reluctant to let a golden moment slip away, and thinking that one less poopy diaper to clean up is ONE LESS (Hey-O!!), I decided to buy her a little baby potty and see if I could help her build an association. I mean, even if we only use it for pooping at home, it would still totally rock. my. world.

So now, I predicted, when she points to her diaper, I shall declare it “Potty time!” and sit her upon it. Brilliant. Excellent parenting, me. I will give me a 15% raise this quarter.

Except, the potty is an excellent drum! It’s a charming tricorn hat! It’s a fantastic bucket! And determining what fits in the potty is her raison d’etre. I’ve kind of given up on the whole “potty time!” thing because by the time I find the potty (under her crib, behind the couch, in her toy bin, or hey! in the dishwasher, why not?) the diaper has taken one for the team.  So I really shouldn’t have been surprised when I found her morning snack in herpotty cafeteria tray.

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2 Responses to “Potty wanna cracker?”

  1. Potty training/potty learning/directed dumping, whatever the PC term is these days, has to be my least favorite phase of child-rearing. We’ve been through it three times. Fortunately it was with three different kids. Best of luck to you both!

  2. faithslady said

    I was so gung-ho with L at first. I wanted her to be potty-trained as soon as she could walk. I was determined to do it…That we would get her out of diapers asap.

    Oh, how wrong I was. Because of her medical problems, she didn’t learn to walk until she was 18 months old. Then, because of her medical problems, she’s on lasix – so the child pees…a lot. THEN, on top of everything else, she’s developed this irrational fear of the potty whenever she has to go poop.

    I fail. At this point, I’ve pretty much given up. (She’ll be 2 and a half in Septermber.) I figure when she’s ready, she’ll let me know. Until then, I’ll just buy stock in Luvs.

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